An old spiritual asks, “Were you there when they crucified my Lord?” It is a rhetorical question. As it was not composed until centuries after the crucifixion, it is not possible for anyone hearing the song to actually have been present, but it is not posed in order to gather information but rather to cause the listener to seriously consider the importance of that event.
So, who was there when our Lord was crucified? There were many. There were gawkers and mockers, Roman soldiers and at least one of the disciples along with ‘the women’. Yes, the women. The gospel writers give us varying details of crucifixion events yet all four include the fact that women were present at the cross.
It is interesting to note that it is only the women who are mentioned by name. Luke is the only writer who does not include names in his account but merely states that the women who had followed Jesus from Galilee were there. He does, however, give us the names of some of those women in chapter 8 and also the names of some who went to the tomb on the first day of the week, which, with one exception, the other writers indicate were at the cross. Who were these women? Let’s take a look.
Mary the mother of Jesus:
Only John notes the presence of Jesus’ mother at the scene of His death and he records Jesus’ last words to her. (John 19:25, 26) What a roller coaster of emotions Mary must have experienced during the three years of her son’s public ministry. Confident of His abilities, she had nudged Him into performing His first miracle at a wedding feast in Cana and he did not disappoint her. (John 2:1-11) Later, when Jesus’ popularity was such that He wasn’t even able to eat because of the crowds, Mary and her other sons went to take Him away because they thought He was out of His mind. She must have been surprised and probably somewhat hurt by His less than welcoming response to being told that she wanted to see Him. (Mark 3:20, 21 & 31-35) If that incident caused Mary to question Jesus’ affection for her, such doubts must surely have been laid to rest at the cross when, despite His pain, He made arrangements for her future care. (John 19:26, 27) As Mary stood near the cross helplessly watching the unjust torture of her firstborn, did she realize that the anguish which filled her was the fulfillment of the prophecy Simeon had made thirty-three years earlier? (Luke 2:35) Perhaps.
Mary Magdalene:
The earliest mention of Mary Magdalene is in Luke 8:2 where she heads his list of women who were cured by Jesus and who travelled with Him helping to support Him and His disciples. In that passage Luke also informed us that seven evil spirits had come out of Mary. She is the only person other than the man possessed by Legion (Luke 8:26-39) who is described as having multiple demons. Considering what Legion did to that man, we can only imagine what devastation seven demons caused in Mary’s life. It is not surprising then, to find her so devoted to the One who freed her from such torment and how heartbreaking it must have been for her to stand there and see Him suffer.
Salome:
Mark is the only writer who included Salome but by comparing his list with the others, many conclude that she was the mother of Zebedee’s sons (from Matthew) and the sister of Jesus’ mother (from John). If that supposition is correct, we were introduced to Salome before the crucifixion. Matthew, in his gospel account, described an incident in which Mrs. Zebedee and her two sons, James and John, approached Jesus with a special request. (20:20-23) Travelling, as she apparently did, with the Galilean women who followed Jesus, she had undoubtedly noticed that her sons, along with their fishing partner Peter, were privileged to share with Jesus some experiences that the other nine were not privy to. Perhaps this is why she was emboldened to seek high positions for her sons in Jesus’ kingdom. Her request was denied. Instead of the honour she had hoped to gain for her sons what resulted instead was ill feelings toward them among the other apostles. Yet this disappointment and the rebuff she had received from Jesus did not dampen her devotion to Him. Salome stayed near Him to the bitter end and was blessed to be among the first to discover the empty tomb. (Mark 16:1-6)
The other Mary:
This Mary is identified in the gospels as being the mother of James and Joses. She may also be the woman John referred to as the wife of Clopas but, as Mary was a common name at the time, this is uncertain. Other than the names of her sons and possibly her husband, we know nothing about her. If she was in fact the wife of Clopas, then three of the four gospel writers place her at the cross (Matthew, Mark and John) and at the tomb Resurrection morning (Matthew, Mark and Luke). Matthew and Mark also name her among those who watched Jesus’ burial take place so they would know where the tomb was located. (Matthew 27:6 and Mark 15:47) Mary was not a causal follower of Jesus. Her presence at these places show she was whole-heartedly devoted to the Lord.
Joanna:
Luke is the only writer who mentions Joanna and, as he does not give any names of the women he said were at the crucifixion, we cannot say with certainty that she was among them. However, it is fairly safe to assume that she was considering she is included in Luke’s list in chapter 8:2, 3 along with the other Galilean women who travelled with Jesus and the Twelve. She is also one he named as having gone to the tomb and then to the apostles with the news of Jesus’ resurrection. (24:1-10) When Luke introduced Joanna in chapter 8, he identified her as the wife of Cuza (Chuza in some translations), the manager of Herod’s household. One could call him the palace CEO. Married to a man holding such an office, Joanna would have been a woman of means and high social standing. And yet, during this important Jewish feast time, she was not hobnobbing with the rich and famous but on a hill outside Jerusalem where the lowly itinerant teacher she had followed from Galilee was being executed. How helpless she must have felt! She had helped to finance His work but, despite her wealth and position, could do nothing to prevent the death of this man to whom she was truly devoted.
These women could answer “Yes” to the song’s question, “Were you there when they crucified my Lord?” They were there. It was not morbid curiosity or the desire to gloat and jeer which drew them to Calvary. No, they were there because they loved Jesus. They had followed Him in life and did not desert Him in death. We were not there. Time has prevented us from being able to physically follow Jesus, witness His death or to see the empty tomb. But we know that these things happened and why they happened and that should cause us to be just as devoted to the Lord as the women who were there – maybe even more so.
Fenwick ON
Around Christmas I typically spend a lot of time and energy making cookies. I bake a variety because not everyone likes the same kind. They differ in size, shape, flavour, texture and taste. Even those made with the same cookie cutter never seem to turn out exactly the same making it a challenge to package them for gift giving.
Christians are a bit like that. Each a bit different but all together needing to fit into one container – the local congregation. Some people fit together better than others. We get along with some people more easily than with others. But then churches are meant for diversity without division! The range of personality traits and indivivual abilities is a strength enabling us to accomplish much more than we could if we were all shaped by the same cutter. When personalities clash, it may result in tension, annoyance, irritation and even frustrations or resentment. All of this may happen unintentionally and without an awareness on the part of the ‘offending’ parties.
If not handled properly, these things can damage our relationships, interfere with fellowship, hinder the Lord’s work and even cause division. We must not allow that to happen. The best way to avoid this outcome is to heed Biblical instructions such as those given in Colossians 3:12-14.
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” (NIV 1984).
Verse 13 doesn’t appear to address the major offenses which sometimes arise among brethren and which Jesus dealt with in Matthew 5:23, 24 and 18:15-17. Instead, Paul seems focused on more petty grievances which may nevertheless fester and grow into bigger problems such as those noted in verses 8 and 9.
The dictionary defines the word grievance as:
“a real or imaginary wrong regarded as cause for complaint or resentment; a feeling of resentment or hostility arising from a sense of having been wronged.”1 As the dictionary notes, grievances or complaints (ESV, NKJV) may be real or merely imagined.
For example, an introvert may appear aloof or unfriendly because of their shyness. A person may feel slighted or ignored by someone whose mind was simply on other things or who was perhaps distracted or preoccuppied. Not knowing the inner struggles of others, we need to be generous in the way that we regard one another.
There are those who deliberately ‘push our buttons’ without intending harm. Lacking tact or empathy, they may not realize the true effect that their words or actions are having. This is why, as the NLT words it, we need to make allowance for each other’s faults.
Opposite personalities may aggravate one another simply by being opposite. A.A. Milne illustrated this well with the story of quiet, serious Rabbit and his annoyance with bouncy, fun-loving Tigger. (The House at Pooh Corner) Like Rabbit, we sometimes consider another’s difference as a fault and a source of irritation. Certainly, they can be, especially if, like Tigger, we fail to take the other person’s personality into account and be considerate of their feelings. In the story, both Rabbit and Tigger learned to appreciate one another and understand that the traits which annoy us may also contain hidden blessings.
Rather than becoming upset or angry with our brothers and sisters, Paul tells us we are to bear with one another. Brush it off. Let it go. Not only that, we are to forgive each other. Yes, forgive any and all those grievances or complaints we may have – whether the other person asks for forgiveness or not. Apologies are not mentioned here as a condition for our forgiveness. Certainly, at times it is beneficial to point out to your brother or sister that you have been hurt or offended by what they said or did which gives them an opportunity to apologize or explain. In many cases, the wrong may simply be a matter of ones own perception or was done unintentionally resulting in the offender being unaware of having upset someone.
“To forgive implies continual, mutual forgiveness of the problems, irritations, and grievances that occur in the congregation.”2 Remember, you have faults and failures too, for which Christ and your brethren must continually forgive you.
“If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” – 1 John 1:8, 9 (ESV).
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” – Ephesians 4:32 (ESV).
Forbearance and forgiveness does not mean that we simply tolerate one another. Instead, we are to truly love one another as noted in verse 14 of our text. “Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony” (NLT). That love will be demonstrated through how we treat one another by showing compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience (verse 12). If we all regard one another in this manner, instead of discord and division in our congregations, there will be wonderful fellowship – as sweet as a tin full of Christmas cookies.
Fenwick Ontario
1 Funk & Wagnalls Standard College Dictionary; Fitzhenry & Whiteside Ltd., Toronto, 1980.
2 Life Application Concise New Testament Commentary; WORDsearch7, software.
As a child, I often encountered crawdads when playing in the creek with siblings and cousins. They were just part of our summer fun. We caught them for the enjoyment and challenge of it, before letting them go.
But unlike us, some people like my cousin caught them to eat them.
“When my cousin invited to go with him and fish for crawdads (crayfish), I couldn’t help but be excited. I grinned when he handed me a plastic pail. ‘No lid?’ I asked? ‘You won’t need one,’ he said, picking up the fishing rods and the small bag of chicken chunks we’d use for bait. Later, as I watched the small crustaceans trying to escape a mostly full bucket, I realised why we wouldn’t need a lid. Whenever one crawdad reached the rim, the others just pulled it back down.”1
While you may never have fished for crawdads, you may have seen this same type of behaviour in people. Sometimes selfish and putting our own well being over that of others, we act to the detriment of all. Instead of supporting and helping one another, we pull each other down. Our criticism and complaints discourage those who are about to succeed. How very, sad it is when this sort of thing happens in the church! It is both sad and unacceptable.
The scriptures teach us that the opposite ought to be true of Christians. “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” – Philippians 2:4 (ESV).
“Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important” – Galatians 6:2,3 (NLT).
Paul went into a little more detail in his letter to the Thessalonians.
“So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing. Dear brothers and sisters, honor those who are your leaders in the Lord’s work. They work hard among you and give you spiritual guidance. Show them great respect and wholehearted love because of their work. And live peacefully with each other. Brothers and sisters, we urge you to warn those who are lazy. Encourage those who are timid. Take tender care of those who are weak. Be patient with everyone. See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good to each other and to all people” – 1 Thessalonians 5:11-15 (NLT).
Paul complimented the Thessalonians before urging them to do even better. He wanted them to form a caring community. A loving church family whose members built one another up and lived in peace. His letters to other congregations called on them to forgive each other in a spirit of kindness and compassion. Heeding these admonitions would strengthen their (and our) relationship with God and with each other.
“As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace” – Ephesians 4:1-3 (NIV 1984).
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you” – Ephesians 4:31, 32 (NLT).
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful” – Colossians 3:12-15 (NIV 1984).
Paul’s instructions are timeless and are needed just as much today as they were when they were written. Congregations may still be relationship challenged. It takes real effort to relate positively toward those who are negative, grumpy, and complaining. Yet scripture tells us we have an obligation to find and encourage the best in all of our fellow Christians. Jesus’s was very clear about it. Our Lord commanded us to love one another. No exceptions.
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” –John 13:34, 35 (NIV 1984). Not only are we to love one another, we are to love as Jesus loved us. That is a high standard. Just tolerating or barely getting along won’t cut it. This message was so important that He repeated it a few chapters later.
“This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you” – John 15:12 (NLT). And again in verse 17, “This is my command: Love each other.”
Today it is not uncommon to hear one Christian say to another, “I love you”. It is a good thing to express our love for each other but love (agape) is more than just words.
The apostle John wrote: “Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth” 1 John 3:18 (ESV).
“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves” – Romans 12:9, 10 (NIV 1984).
“You were cleansed from your sins when you obeyed the truth, so now you must show sincere love to each other as brothers and sisters. Love each other deeply with all your heart” – 1 Peter 1:22 (NLT).
Love is not supposed to be based on the how love-able the other person is. Nor does it stem from our feelings or the personal “chemistry” we may have with someone. I comes rather from our relationship with God and our awareness of that God loves both us and that other person.
“Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.”
“Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.”
“We love each other because he loved us first. If someone says, ‘I love God,’ but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their Christian brothers and sisters.” “Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has become a child of God. And everyone who loves the Father loves his children, too.” – selections from 1 John 4:7,8; 11,12: 19-21; & 5:1 (NLT)
Our struggle against sin does not end when we become a child of God. It is hard not to bring our sin and selfishness into our new lives. Like crawdads, our former selves would have us claw our way to the top no matter who we have to pull down to get there. When crawdads behave badly, they all get eaten. Surely we can do better.
“For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another” – Galatians 5:13-15 (ESV).
May we grow ever closer to God. May see our brothers and sisters in Christ the way He sees them. Christ died for each one and each is precious. May we, with the help of the Holy Spirit, rise above our basic instincts to love others sincerely and from the heart. May our love not depend on the worthiness of others but the worthiness of the One who has loved us first.
1 “Plight of the Crawdads” by Xochitl Dixon in Our Daily Bread, January 13, 2018; published by Our Daily Bread Ministries, Grand Rapids, MI.
Basis for this article was taken from a sermon given by my husband, Don Hipwell.
Virginia Hipwell
On June 30, 1950, Walt Disney Productions released a seven-minute cartoon entitled Motor Mania which featured Goofy as a Jekyll and Hyde type character. As a pedestrian, he was the calm, easy-going, friendly Mr. Walker but behind the wheel of his auto, he became the rude, impatient, angry Mr. Wheeler. It was a somewhat exaggerated, yet humorous look at real life. Things have not changed much in the sixty-nine years since the film was released except that the problem has worsened. In fact, nowadays there are fewer Mr. Walkers as even those on foot are often in a hurry and impatient.
In our society, patience is a rare commodity. People tend to cram their days so full of activities that they are always rushing somewhere to do something which causes them to be impatient and irritable when anything or anyone slows them down even briefly. Road rage and rudeness, the offspring of impatience, are all too common.
This is one of many ways in which Christians are to be different from the world around us. God’s children are to be patient. Patience is one facet of the fruit of the Spirit.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law” – Galatians 5:22, 23 (ESV).
We often think of patience as being synonymous with waiting, but we can wait without being patient. When forced to wait, our natural impulses may be to become irritated and irritable, angry, lashing out at others or grumpy and complaining.
Patience is more than just waiting. It is active restraint of our emotions and actions. A restraint which is accomplished with the aid of the Holy Spirit. According to my concordance, the Greek word translated as patience in Galatians 5:22 (and numerous other verses throughout the New Testament) is defined as “internal and external control in a difficult circumstance, which control could exhibit itself by delaying an action.”1 It may also be translated as forbearance or long-suffering.
We cannot be Christ-like without patience! Paul tells us that Jesus’ patience is perfect (or unlimited – NIV).
“But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life” – 1 Timothy 1:16 (ESV).
Although he does not use the word patience, Peter pointed out an example of Jesus’ patience and urged us to do likewise.
“He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly” – 1 Peter 2:23 (NLT).
“Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and He will bless you for it” – 1 Peter 3:9 (NLT).
This is by no means a new concept. The wise writer of Proverbs and Ecclesiastes had much to say on the subject of patience.
“The vexation of a fool is known at once, but the prudent ignores an insult” – Proverbs 12:16 (ESV).
“A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly” – Proverbs 14:29 (NIV 1984).
“Better to be patient than powerful; better to have self-control than to conquer a city” – Proverbs 16:32 (NLT).
“A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense” – Proverbs 19:11 (NIV 1984).
“Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the bosom of fools” – Ecclesiastes 7:8, 9 (ESV). Patience is necessary if we are to live in a way which is pleasing to God. Paul pointed out this need in many of his letters.
“Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love” – Ephesians 4:1-3 (NLT).
“Patience conveys the quality of being able to handle one another’s faults and failures and refusing to avenge wrongs. No one is ever going to be perfect here on earth, so believers must be patient with each other despite their faults. Making allowance for each other’s faults is the action side of patience, emphasizing the willingness to forgive. To show patience requires love*, which ought to be the guiding principle for all of a believer’s actions, even when natural differences and clashes occur.”2 *(See 1 Corinthians 13:4)
We must never forget that we are not perfect and can sometimes be hard to get along with. The Golden Rule reminds us that we are to treat others in the same way we want them to treat us. (Matthew 7:12)
“Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful” – Colossians 3:12-15 (NLT).
It is easy to be patient with those who don’t irritate or inconvenience us, but we are told to be patient with everyone. After pointing out what was needed for various individuals in the congregation, Paul admonished the Thessalonians to be patient with them all.
“And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone” – 1 Thessalonians 5:14, 15 (ESV).
Paul also told Timothy that he needed patience as he worked teaching and correcting.
“Preach the word of God. Be prepared, whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching” – 2 Timothy 4:2 (NLT).
In this day and age, when people take great offense at the relatively minor things, patience is, indeed, a rare commodity. Nevertheless, it is fruit of the Spirit which should be obvious in the Christian’s life. If it isn’t, then diligence needs to be given to cultivating it.
“We ask God to give you complete knowledge of his will and to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding. Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and your lives will produce every kind of good fruit. All the while, you will grow as you learn to know God better and better. We also pray that you will be strengthened with all his glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need. May you be filled with joy, always thanking the Father. He has enabled you to share in the inheritance that belongs to his people, who live in the light. For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son, who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins” – Colossians 1:9b-14 (NLT).